Screwed.edu
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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