The maid of honor just puked.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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