Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
