i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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