I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
