i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Small penises have feelings too.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize