I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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