The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
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So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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