i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
