Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
