the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
