Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
