I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
