do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
