Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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