White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Be still, my beating vagina.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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