It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
