Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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