those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
