ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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