I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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