4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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