Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize