I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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