I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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