Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
