it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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