Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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