No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
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Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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