once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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