Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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