It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
