I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
