the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
