I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
