Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
