I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
