party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
