Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
