You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
