I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
