you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
