i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Who died my cat blue again?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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