I think I am morally bankrupt
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize