Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
