did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
