By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I wish there were birth control emojis
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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