There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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