I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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