im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
