So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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