dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
