we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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