we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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