Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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