A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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